A woman who does not want to allow betrayal or abandonment of her parents

Dear Abbey,

A few years ago, my parents betrayed my son and me. They accepted and supported my ex-husband. My ex-husband took us for a colleague who was having an affair. My son and I lost a house, a car, and the life we ​​knew without the support of our family. My son was still a high school student and it was a dark time in both of our lives.

Both my parents are older and have been diagnosed with life-threatening conditions. They are reaching out to us now. I’m worried, to say the least. It became stronger that I had to do it only with the support of my friends and son, and I went ahead (literally, figuratively).

I don’t know if I should rethink my relationship with my parents. Losing my father’s support was harder than losing her husband, and I don’t want to experience that pain again. Can you give me some advice?

— Burned in Tennessee

You didn’t abandon your parents. Your parents abandoned you when you needed them most. In honor of you and your son, you have moved forward and created a family chosen from those who have shown that they care about you.

Your parents chose your husband and his female friend. Have they ever apologized or tried to make amends? You said you went “literally and figuratively”. If your parents haven’t done that, my advice is to keep you going.

Do he need to pop questions while in conflict about his ex?

Dear Abbey,

I’m a 41 year old gay man living with my boyfriend and older parents. Five years ago, I divorced someone I had been dating for 10 years and got married for 5 years. Our division was friendly and civilian. We still talk from time to time.

I recently bought a ring for my boyfriend. We have been dating for nearly 5 years (meeted shortly after divorce) and want to get married again. Last time I was asked. I made a suggestion this time, and I asked my parents in honor of them.

I have a ring, but for some reason I can’t decide when, where, and how to propose. Because of the way my marriage is over, I feel terrible guilty about even thinking of asking someone to marry me. I don’t have any feelings for my ex anymore (that’s one of the reasons it’s over), but I have a lot of respect for him. I don’t hate him (like many divorces), and I feel it will stab him behind.

When we speak, he gives a comment to that effect, so I know he regrets having asked for a divorce. I get rid of it, but I can’t get rid of this sin I have to move on. Am i wrong? Are these ideas normal?

— Hesitating in New Jersey

Excuse me. Your ex-husband asked you to divorce, and do you feel guilty about moving on? It doesn’t seem to me that you have moved very far. The same is true if you haven’t suggested to your boyfriend. You should never ask questions until you finally understand where your mind is — even if the current male parents of your life say they approve.

Dear Abbey

Dear Abbey

Dear Abbey, was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips.Contact Dear Abbey www.DearAbby.com Or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA90069.

This article was originally published in The Providence Journal: Dear Abbey: A woman who doesn’t want to forgive her parents’ betrayal or abandonment