After eight years of marriage, I told my husband that I was bisexual. A few months later, I found out that her husband was cheating on me.

Jessica Daniels' husband had an affair after she came out as bisexual.

Jessica Daniels’ husband had an affair after she came out as bisexual.Jessica Daniels

  • After eight years of marriage and telling my husband that I was bisexual, he accepted me.

  • But months later he said he had an affair and wouldn’t come home.

  • I think he worried that I would leave him for a woman, so now I’m moving on and accepting that I’m bisexual.

My bisexuality was always in front of me. I have always described my lifelong fascination with beautiful women by saying it was my desire to be a beautiful woman, to be like them, or to get on their track and imbibe their confidence and charm. bottom.

I ended up dating my bisexual Then I came out to my second husband. Everyone in my life has taken me, come out Well, it changed everything—especially my marriage.

I came out to my husband first and never to anyone else

I was 24 when I married my first husband. bisexual thoughtsI was still unsatisfied with that marriage and eventually divorced. About 21 months after the split, I met and fell in love with a man named Mike. We had been together for four years when he proposed.We got married in 2011.I was 36.

Eight years into that marriage, something flipped a switch on me. During my regular appointments with female practitioners, I started having unbidden fantasies. Suddenly her touch triggered an absurd thought. After several weeks of wrestling with what this meant, I confided in the one person I trusted more than anything: her husband Mike.

I made it clear that I didn’t want anything to change between Mike and myself. We were in a solid, happy monogamous relationship and had been together for almost 12 years at this point. I had no interest in changing our dynamics.

Nevertheless, he selflessly offered me the opportunity to explore my bisexuality in a physical sense. It was a sort of “one step out of our marriage” free card. I knew who wanted what and I got it.

Then I came out to our children. Mike and I have been married before, have teenage children, and have co-parented one from each of our previous marriages. .

But my coming out journey was ultimately met with a ton of disappointment and heartbreak.

I found out last year that my husband was cheating on me. At that point it had been going on for over a year and started just a few months after I came out to him as bisexual.

The news destroyed me. Ever since we met Mike has been my joy and my motivation. He told me he wasn’t going home and I haven’t been the same since.

Over the next year, I analyzed every misstatement, every critical response, and every moment where I took Mike’s love for granted or might not have shown my love and appreciation enough. Did.

I’ve identified many small factors that could have added to the whole thing, but I keep thinking back to the days when it came out as more and more bye

I think something was left out when he said he would let me explore my feelings for women. bisexual Someday, probably sooner or later, I will overtake our commitment that I will be away from him and with a woman.

he still loved me deeply. He admitted it, and it was clear from his expression. So on some level I think he sabotaged our marriage before it fell apart around him. I had to find a way forward.

I am now exploring a new version of myself where my bisexuality is front and center

Now I’m facing a new chapter in my life — one I never expected, but one I still have to make the most of. A chapter that will be a known factor, but also a chapter that will definitely slow me down to reveal my mind.

For 14 months after Mike’s confession, my daughter accompanied me to neighborhood pride events. I wore a double-identification shirt to attend the festival.I also proudly display LGBTQ and bisexual flags in front of my house.

I may be guarded now, but I know that if one day I find myself in a serious relationship with a woman, I will be able to live that truth freely and openly. It’s not, but I’m going to accept all aspects of myself and face them head-on.

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