After eight years of marriage and telling my husband that I was bisexual, he accepted me.
But months later he said he had an affair and wouldn’t come home.
I think he worried that I would leave him for a woman, so now I’m moving on and accepting that I’m bisexual.
My bisexuality was always in front of me. I have always described my lifelong fascination with beautiful women by saying it was my desire to be a beautiful woman, to be like them, or to get on their track and imbibe their confidence and charm. bottom.
I ended up dating my bisexual Then I came out to my second husband. Everyone in my life has taken me, come out Well, it changed everything—especially my marriage.
I came out to my husband first and never to anyone else
I was 24 when I married my first husband. bisexual thoughtsI was still unsatisfied with that marriage and eventually divorced. About 21 months after the split, I met and fell in love with a man named Mike. We had been together for four years when he proposed.We got married in 2011.I was 36.
Eight years into that marriage, something flipped a switch on me. During my regular appointments with female practitioners, I started having unbidden fantasies. Suddenly her touch triggered an absurd thought. After several weeks of wrestling with what this meant, I confided in the one person I trusted more than anything: her husband Mike.
I made it clear that I didn’t want anything to change between Mike and myself. We were in a solid, happy monogamous relationship and had been together for almost 12 years at this point. I had no interest in changing our dynamics.
Nevertheless, he selflessly offered me the opportunity to explore my bisexuality in a physical sense. It was a sort of “one step out of our marriage” free card. I knew who wanted what and I got it.
Then I came out to our children. Mike and I have been married before, have teenage children, and have co-parented one from each of our previous marriages. .
But my coming out journey was ultimately met with a ton of disappointment and heartbreak.
I found out last year that my husband was cheating on me. At that point it had been going on for over a year and started just a few months after I came out to him as bisexual.
The news destroyed me. Ever since we met Mike has been my joy and my motivation. He told me he wasn’t going home and I haven’t been the same since.
Over the next year, I analyzed every misstatement, every critical response, and every moment where I took Mike’s love for granted or might not have shown my love and appreciation enough. Did.
I’ve identified many small factors that could have added to the whole thing, but I keep thinking back to the days when it came out as more and more bye
I think something was left out when he said he would let me explore my feelings for women. bisexual Someday, probably sooner or later, I will overtake our commitment that I will be away from him and with a woman.
he still loved me deeply. He admitted it, and it was clear from his expression. So on some level I think he sabotaged our marriage before it fell apart around him. I had to find a way forward.
I am now exploring a new version of myself where my bisexuality is front and center
Now I’m facing a new chapter in my life — one I never expected, but one I still have to make the most of. A chapter that will be a known factor, but also a chapter that will definitely slow me down to reveal my mind.
For 14 months after Mike’s confession, my daughter accompanied me to neighborhood pride events. I wore a double-identification shirt to attend the festival.I also proudly display LGBTQ and bisexual flags in front of my house.
I may be guarded now, but I know that if one day I find myself in a serious relationship with a woman, I will be able to live that truth freely and openly. It’s not, but I’m going to accept all aspects of myself and face them head-on.
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