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Dear Abbey,
I have been married for 16 years and have confirmed my divorce. I decided to start dating again and found a really nice person with a great personality. I’m attracted to him, but I never thought I’d love him again. He has a child at my age. We talked for 6 months and then he moved. We have lived together for over a year.
Things were perfect until he was sexually talking to another woman online and found out that he met two women during our relationship. He claims they are just friends, nothing more. Now he says I’m not his girlfriend and I’ve never been there. So what am I? I asked one of his friends, and they told me he was sexual with all the women. “He’s just a playful man.”
When I said I knew I kissed him, he said he wanted to know if something was there. I have never done it to anyone. He lied about meeting girls and being on dating sites, and he’s still sexting. I fell in love with him, but he doesn’t say it back to me.
Should we break up and just be friends or engage in relationships? He told me that his lifelong woman would make him a ghost or return to their exe. He was hurt by many of them. I need some advice.
— Disappointed in Arkansas
Roommates are not “nice guys”. He is a player who is not honest with you. I’m glad that his friend gave you a clue as to what’s really happening while living with you.
You know he is a player, so make an appointment with your doctor to get an STD exam. Then tell him that the game is over and you want him to be kicked out of your place as soon as possible. You are too emotional to be friends with him now. And when you raise your head straight and admit who he really is, you no longer want to be.
Dear Abbey,
My husband and I have been married for two years. He had been married for 27 years to a woman who died six months before we met. He has an adult stepdaughter he raised and considers him his daughter. He has a biological child who has a good relationship with me and they like me. But my stepdaughter doesn’t like me at all and she’s very rude to me.
His family always invites her to family events. Her husband keeps telling her to take a break because her mother died. I was very kind to her. My husband and I are constantly discussing her girlfriend. I asked her not to be around her. Is it rude to me not to go to his family’s events if she goes there? She makes it very uncomfortable for me.
— Worried about Georgia
Do not cut off your nose to tease your face. I’m going to a family event. Say hello to her, but avoid it as much as possible after that. If she is obviously rude, call her. You do not have to tolerate being abused, and you should not be expected to do so.
Dear Abbey, was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips.Contact Dear Abbey www.DearAbby.com Or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA90069.
This article was originally published in The Providence Journal: Dear Abbey: After he moves, the true color of his boyfriend emerges
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