Disabled veteran’s wife fights over household budget


Dear Abbey,

My husband has retired from the army and lives with a mental illness caused by traumatic brain injury. As a result, he was invalidated. We have four children. Over the years, he has developed a sense of extreme financial qualifications. I’m responsible for our finances, but I can’t control his spending.

His urges include luxury coffee, fast food, and “medical” marijuana, which costs hundreds of dollars a month, but complains that money is tight. Last week he blamed “I hate everything having to go through you,” as if that was the reason we didn’t spend any more money.

Money is scarce and our kids go without what they need. I am always fighting for his respect, dignity and self-control. I feel frustrated, exhausted and lost. Please give me advice?

— I got angry at Arkansas

I wish I could solve your real problem by waving a magic wand. I can’t, so you step up again and while you’re sad that he’s “dominating” what you’re doing for your family, yours You must impress your husband that the needs of the children must take precedence over his own needs. In short, he treats “luxury coffee” as a luxury item and should buy it no more than X times a week. This is the same as fast food and his “medical” marijuana.

If he needs more pharmaceutical support for his stress, he should turn it to his doctor (at the Department of Veterans Affairs, I guess). Make it clear that you cannot carry any more luggage and that you are not the cause of financial stress. The situation is due to it, he can’t keep kicking his gold goose, or he kills it.

Mom insists on keeping the windows open all year round

Dear Abbey,

My mother, who lives with me, insists on keeping her windows open a few inches all year round. It doesn’t bother me much because it tends to be hot in winter, but in summer it collides because it is necessary to close windows and doors and operate the air conditioner with optimum efficiency. She thinks the bedroom is chilled if she keeps the windows open, and she doesn’t know what happens if she keeps the doors to the rest of the house closed.

This issue caused a lot of controversy because it made my AC unit work more than necessary. Not to mention allergies, my doctor told me to keep the air all summer. It’s a ranch-style house, and the temperature is kept at 70 degrees.

I don’t want to fight her, but this is my home and she blatantly ignores my demands, so I feel despised. Am I overreacting? Or does she need to respect my home?

— Ohio temperature rise

You are not overreacting. Let’s get down to the basics. Whose house is it? It’s yours. When you lived in your mother’s house she made rules and you had to obey them. If keeping the windows in her bedroom half-open “makes your air conditioner work harder”, it can increase your electricity bill, which is rude, unfriendly, and bad manners. If she can’t adjust, she needs to contribute to the additional cost of the air conditioner.

Dear Abbey

Dear Abbey

Dear Abbey, was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips.Contact Dear Abbey www.DearAbby.com Or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA90069.

This article was originally published in The Providence Journal: Dear Abbey: Disabled Veteran’s wife fights over household budget

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