My grandson didn’t hesitate to tell me which grandma they liked. (Yes, I know you shouldn’t, but I asked.)
“Another grandma,” 7-year-old Jonah replied immediately.
“Yeah,” his sister, Sasha, four years old, immediately chimed. “Grandma, Michigan”.
reason? (Yes, I asked.)
“You don’t buy us anything,” Jonah replied without hesitation again. “Not one.”
“There is nothing,” Sasha agreed.
Perhaps you suspect the problem is economical. And sadly, I understand that many grandparents don’t have the resources to give gifts to their grandchildren. Fortunately, it’s not my situation or the situation of the other grandparents quoted in this article.
So now you must be thinking (my friend is thinking about it too): “What a terrible! Would you like to get a gift for your grandchildren when you can afford it? why? “
My friends get gifts on birthdays and holidays, including Valentine’s Day. Gifts include educational toys, classic books, high quality art supplies, nifty sporting goods, handy cookware, cute clothes, and OK, some. tchotchkes too. Isn’t it good? What’s wrong with that?
Like my grandchildren, there is nothing except that their grandchildren have enough toys, books, art supplies, sporting goods, cookware, T-shirts, and hoodies.
My grandson can barely close the closet door thanks to the toy cache. A large large plastic trash can filled with more toys is pushed under the bed. Jonah has 37 (!) Plush toys. He has 27 younger sisters. They also have a myriad of puzzles, books, building blocks, toy cars and trucks, dolls, and Paw Patrol tools.
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And perhaps the most they have are toys that can no longer be used: remote control cars without batteries, action figures without arms and heads, board games with missing items, shapy without tops, torn pages. Books etc. They have a plastic pool that has been used three times, a telescope that may have been used twice, and a butterfly net that has never been used. And they have enough clothes to decorate the entire youth classroom.
My friend’s grandson is also overloaded.
My friend Helen Siegel, who lives in Tenafly and lives in Los Angeles today, said, “I don’t have a lot of grandchildren, so I have nothing to buy.” “Recently, I’ve been looking for a book I just bought for my granddaughter.”
Deborah Wilburn, my friend in New York City, wonders where in the world her three grandchildren will store more toys. “They have an entire room full of toys,” she said. “Where are you?” She said the youngest person recently got a small grill from her parents. “Children never intend to play with it,” she said. “ridiculous.”
Still, they add to their grandchildren’s stash — even if the kids themselves suggest they might quit (which is certainly rare).
My friend Sarah Lang said she and her husband, an avid reader, bestow their grandchildren what they love, the books. When they finally appeared full of bags, the children begged them, “I don’t have any more books.”
It’s not difficult to understand why grandparents give their children their stuff. Certainly for a short period of time, it makes their grandchildren happy. “I know it’s momentary, but seeing their smiles makes me happy,” Helen said.
Gifts are a way of showing love, I don’t have to tell you. And for some, gifts are a way to make up for the fact that grandchildren cannot be seen often due to distance or busy schedules.
So, do I love my grandchildren more than my friends love them?
I’m completely crazy about it. And they know it. I visit them almost every week. And we play, draw, eat out, build, make people believe, and act stupidly until we’re tired (usually I). I took them to museums, circuses, theaters, beaches, and overslept for a long time. But there are no gifts.
I want to spend more on their college education than on another plastic toy or frilled dress they don’t need.
And what about their alleged preferences for their other grandmas?
I’m glad they love her, and I know they love me.
Esther Davidowitz is a food editor at NorthJersey.com. For more information on food and drink locations, register now and North Jersey Eats Newsletter..
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This article was originally posted on NorthJersey.com. Should grandparents buy grandchildren’s gifts?