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Thoughts of Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton Escape from the subpoena server by having his wife Republican Senatordriving him out of the family home in a truck is the perfect encapsulation, if unwitting, of the modern Republican approach to law and order.
according to Affidavit filed in federal court on Mondaya man who tried to subpoena Paxton to testify at a hearing on Tuesday involving a federal lawsuit filed by a group that wants to help access abortion services outside of Texas.
Rather than be served, Paxton became an all-hat-and-no cow, emulating the courage he showed when he fled to Cancun during last year’s deadly winter storm. It was a move similar to how Senator Hawley ran like a frightened human rat as the public stormed the building after saluting rebels outside the US Capitol on Jan. 6, 2021. .)
Honey, pull the truck and get out of here!
Process Server, Ernesto Martin Herrera, He said in an affidavit that he saw Paxton Coming out of the garage door: “He looked at me and as soon as he heard me call his name, he turned around and walked back inside the house through the same garage door.
Thurber then saw Paxton’s wife, Sen. Angela Paxton, leave the house and get into a truck in the driveway. Paxton ran from the door inside the garage to the rear door behind the driver’s side. I approached the truck and called out his name and said I had his court papers. “
Paxton got into the truck and his wife drove him off. according to the oath.
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Ah yes, the old-fashioned Reverse Alamo Trick, a new favorite among Texans
One of the few things Paxton believes Texas women have the right to choose seems to be their escape route.
Paxton responded to allegations that he pulled the Alamo in reverse by releasing an unsworn statement on Twitter: “Given that this suspicious and capricious man charged me on my private property, I was fortunate that this situation did not escalate further or require coercion.
Good thing Paxton didn’t have to pick up the phone and tweet
Again, Paxton nailed the Republican Party’s brand of “just like John Wayne, just chicken.”
By late Tuesday morning Texas judge ruled Paxton didn’t have to appear Either way, at an abortion hearing, this was a perfectly fine result, and the state’s chief law enforcement officer didn’t have to run Bonnie and Clyde-style out of a subpoena.
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Republicans are allergic to ‘law and order’
But let Paxton slack a little.Avoiding Subpoenas It’s all the rage in Republican lawmakers these days.House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy refused to cooperate with the Congressional subpoena from the committee on Jan. 6. So does former President Donald Trump’s chief of staff, Mark Meadows.
Republican Senator Lindsay Graham I’ve fought tooth and nail To avoid testifying in Georgia cases involving fake electors.
The same party that still wants Hillary Clinton locked up — probably because the crowd memorized “Rock Her Up!” Chant and don’t want to learn another – made “escape justice” look like justice.
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Ken Paxton’s new campaign ad that applies “candidate” to “candidate”
To that end, we have scripted new political ads for Paxton to use in his ongoing re-election campaign in Texas.
Hi, I’m Ken Paxton… **gasp, gasp, gasp**…and I’m running… oh! LEG CRAMP… for re-election in the Texas Attorney General race.
You may be wondering… **gasp, gasp**…why do I look like I’m running my neighbor’s farm… NO! bad dog!
Don’t worry… ACK! rake! …that…I am about to run away from the liberals…wait, I have to hide behind this hay…take away your God-given freedom!
**gasp, gasp, gasp** … do you really want to live in a world where people who look like me have to obey the so-called rule of law? No, of course you’re… omg! Caution!
In a moment I see my lovely wife Angela bursting through the fence over there to pick me up. It’s because I believe in my family… oh my god, he’s coming… faith, mainly my faith that my family will get me out of trouble. Damn Angela, where are you?!?
**crash! **
Oh there she is, thank God. Rushing to the backseat of her wife’s Chevrolet Tahoe, hopefully…**gasp, gasp**… vote for November. So that I can save Texas from… Open the back door, Angela, and DON’T SLOW DOWN!! subpoena! … Method.
**Jump into the backseat as the Tahoe slows down in a cloud of dust**
My name is… **gasp, gasp** …Ken Paxton and I have approved this…try to flip him over now, Angela…message.
Rex Huppke Humor and Satire:
If Republicans are ready to rebrand, here are my ideas for a post-MAGA party.
Sorry to those who called them “groomers” amidst the shortage of teachers. Method is as follows.
Quiet exits are all the rage. But that’s not all. How about a “quiet diet”?
Follow USA TODAY columnist Rex Hapkey on Twitter. @RexHupke and Facebook: facebook.com/Rex Is A Jerk
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This article originally appeared on USA TODAY. Ken Paxton, AG, Texas, fled the subpoena.So much for law and order
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