My high school boyfriend’s parents kept me.It saved me

Dear Miranda Hobbes and Steve Brady,

Indeed, writing a thank-you letter to two fictional characters is a bit strange. But this letter isn’t really for you.

Yes, I saw the first two episodes of “And like that“Carrie Bradshaw, Miranda Hobs, and Charlotte York follow HBO’s new” Sex and the City “chapter as they navigate their 50s. And their family has evolved since appearing in that second movie, which must not be named. Ride Peloton again.

This “thank you” is for parents all over the world. favorite You — parents who are willing to open their home to their children’s boyfriends and girlfriends.

The same parents who helped me when I was in high school.

In the new series, Miranda and Steve invite high school student Brady to spend multiple nights at home with her girlfriend, perhaps allowing her to live together full-time.

There are some moments that deserve a clinge. At some point, after a public make-up session, Brady tells her mother that the couple is “not embarrassed to have sex.” In episode 2, Miranda can hear her son and girlfriend making a very loud noise in the bag — even this sex-positive mother of two young boys at her seat. I left something awkwardly shifting.

But before I became a mom, I was a high school student who also depended on my boyfriend’s parents.

Brady is all growing and presenting a whole new set of issues to deal with Miranda and Steve.  (Craig Blankenhorn / HBO Max)

Brady is all growing and presenting a whole new set of issues to deal with Miranda and Steve. (Craig Blankenhorn / HBO Max)

I became a friend and spent more than a few nights at my boyfriend’s house, sleeping in his bed just below the hallway from my parents. The night I spent with them was often inevitable — I immediately threw some clothes and toothbrushes into my school backpack, sent a series of mania texts, and desperately at their front door. I was overwhelmed.

I knew there were rules that I had to obey. Help with household chores, avoid running out of hot water and spending too much time in the shower, and to the extent that it makes sense, with safety in mind, do what you can to get it back. My parents’ house. I couldn’t stay forever, but I could stay as long as I needed and wanted.

And yes, sometimes I had sex with my boyfriend. We knew that contraception and protection were available, rather than yelling (another rule: “Be respectful enough to pretend to be so ridiculous that you don’t know what you’re doing”). rice field. I talked with his mom many times about safety, teen pregnancy, and my value — apart from the relationship with her son.

Staying at my boyfriend’s house wasn’t about getting a free pass to have all the consensus sex I wanted. It wasn’t with “cool parents” who allowed teens to drink cold beer with a supper. It didn’t hurt my parents either.

Instead, it was about the opportunity to rely on another set of parents for comfort, safety, security, and guidance.

The proverbial village that is supposed to help parents take care of their children is not really for their parents. Yes, our mothers and fathers, grandparents and caregivers all benefit from being in the community with others. Maternal mental health crisis When Ongoing pandemic..

But our Children need other responsible and reliable adults in their lives To prosper — adults who can help guide them when they can’t or don’t follow their parents’ beacons.

I had those adults in my life when I needed them, and their decision to have an “open house” policy kept me safe.

As viewers, we don’t know the circumstances surrounding Brady’s girlfriend and her living conditions. But there is one thing that is clear. It provides access to the loving environment cultivated by parents, which allows the two young people to be free to be themselves.

And for young people, feel eHave the power to search, find and celebrate yourself You can change the course of their entire life.

Do I treat my son in my house having comically noisy sex with their partner, as Miranda and Steve did? I feel like the limits of sex-positive are being tested, but I can’t say.

But when my son is at the deepest part of his adolescent life, I hope they can comfortably spend afternoons, days, nights, or more with friends, girlfriends, or boyfriends. .. Their friends, girlfriends, and boyfriends feel as safe, comfortable, and respected in my house as I did many years ago in my high school boyfriend’s house. I hope that.

And rest assured that my fellow parents can feel confident in including my home in their settlement if the saying is true and they really need a village to raise their children. I hope you will.