Naked JLo is pitching a “booty balm” to make her look like her at the back.So please do your best


Jennifer Lopez performing at Vax live concert at SoFi Stadium

Jennifer Lopez will perform at Inglewood’s SoFi Stadium last year. (Jason Almond / Los Angeles Times)

Perhaps like me, you opened the newspaper on Sunday morning and were a little surprised to find a full-page ad featuring naked Jennifer Lopez.If you were at Sunset Boulevard, you might have seen the same image 60ft sign..

There she knelt down and stared at the camera with a sultry look. In her photo, her lips are separated by an approaching look, and her long, messy hair extensions fall under her little hips.

Her famous rear curve is reminiscent of Dana Carvey’s loved one Impersonation of “Saturday Night Live” British singer George Michael describes his back side as follows: … perfect enough for British scientists to calibrate their equipment! “

If I have to choose, I describe the aesthetics of JLo advertising as the aesthetics of a classy Playboy Centerfold. Well, why? We live in a world where exhibitionism is rewarded, and her mischief isn’t actually on display.

So what is Lopez throwing in addition to her ability to resist age and gravity?

It’s not clear from the ads, but a rough web search shows that she’s added a new product to her eponymous beauty line. A cream called Firm + Flaunt, labeled “Targeted Loot Balm”.

I would like to believe that targeting the buttocks with the JLo Body Balm turns into a shiny, well-rounded muscle that appears to be illuminated from the inside.

But I live firmly in the real world and need nothing but painful, costly and dangerous surgery to give me something like the curves that Lopez has long been famous for. I am fully aware that there is no such thing.

Lopez was the pioneer of what I consider to be a loot aggressive movement. This is an example of cultural malaise by the Kardashian family in recent years, with the rear appearing unnatural, cartoon-sized, and expanding as the waistline contracts. They also ask unpleasant questions about the fetishization of the body of black women and their diversion by white women. But that’s the subject of another day.

A type of cosmetic surgery known as the “Brazilian Butt Lift” is booming. Fat is taken from a part of the body and added to the backside for an average of $ 5,000, but in some cases it can cost three times as much. Quality of aftercare. Recently, The New York Times Magazine performed the photographic function of the process under the heading “Batlift is booming.” Healing is not a joke. It showed that post-surgery women form new shapes while standing or flat, with blood-stained girdles that look uncomfortable because they cannot sit at first during healing. In 2021, 61,387 “buttock augmentations” were said to have taken place in the United States.

Almost 25 years ago, young Jennifer Lopez posed for photographer Philoz Zahedi at the Vanity Fair, wearing only high-heeled slides and satin underwear, and laced up her back. 1998, Shocked photo, Not because she was half-naked, but behind her curvaceous beauty, embodied by faint Kate Moss and Gwyneth Paltrow, the ideal of an almost diminished moment, and a vicious modeling known as “heroin chic.” Because it went against the aesthetics of. Lopez, who then approached 30, helped break that standard.

The fact that a 53-year-old woman stands as an icon of the beauty of a youth-worshiping culture, in this case kneeling, makes us think of ourselves as 30 until we are 30. It is refreshing and gives you even a little power. Look in the mirror and remember that we are twice that.

She is also a new bride, Reunited with Ben Affleck, a long-lost love, It’s also a great twist on the theme that one is too old to start over.

“As women, when we’re over 25 or 35, people are ready to write us down,” says Lopez. In a video on her beauty website. “And I kept waiting for it to happen, and then I noticed, no, I No I’m going to make that happen …. Cosmetology doesn’t really have an expiration date. “

(But relationships are. During part of that video, she sits next to her then fiancé Alex Rodriguez. They broke up last year; A-Rod, 47, now 25. Dating with age Competitive bodybuilder And a nutritionist. )

Sadly, there is no amount of body cream, A 4.2 ounce bottle that costs $ 65Will do for all of us that good genetics, penalized training schedules, and access to top-notch cosmetic changes have been made for the new Mrs. Affleck.

A few years ago, I spoke to the director of the Cosmetic Technology Department of the Food and Drug Administration about the growth of creams, ointments, and serums that claim to reverse the aging process.

He insisted that if his wife came home with an expensive cream, she would remove her wrinkles and asked me to return it. But he added that if she said she bought it because it made her feel better about herself, then she would give her more power.

After all, bottling hope is a proven way to get rich. Or in the case of Jennifer Lopez, it’s richer.

@AbcarianLAT

This story was originally Los Angeles Times..