Raising a dad raises an emotionally intelligent child – helping to be more respectful and impartial to society


<スパンクラス="キャプション">Boys often reflect their father’s habits, interests and values.  </ span> <span class ="帰属"><クラス="リンク " href ="https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/news-photo/sonny-norris-and-his-son-tru-attend-an-outdoor-sunday-news-photo/1221662207" rel ="nofollow noopener" target ="_空欄" data-ylk ="slk:Tom Williams /CQ-ゲッティイメージズ経由のRollCall、Inc">  RollCall, Inc via Tom Williams / CQ-Getty Images </a> </ span>“src =” https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/mpy2kVKyGd9Z8c1NxIx6Xw–/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTcwNTtoPTQ3MA–/https://s.yimg.com/uu/api/res/1.2/ .4kHRDHc8WseCMhmKg–~ B / aD05NjA7dz0xNDQwO2FwcGlkPXl0YWNoeW9u / https: //media.zenfs.com/en/the_conversation_us_articles_815/c7377da5adccb3549a59326dce7c496e -/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTcwNTtoPTQ3MA–/https://s.yimg.com/uu/api/res/1.2/kyB..4kHRDHc8WseCMhmKg–~B/aD05NjA7dz0xNDQwO2FwcGlkPXl0YWNoeW9u/https://media.zenfs.com/en/the_conversation_us_articles_815/c7377da5adccb3549a59326dce7c496e “/></div>
<p>When my eldest son (now nearly 13 years old) was born in July 2008, I could easily balance my career with the desire to engage at home far more than my father or his generation. I thought. I was wrong.</p>
<p>It soon became apparent that social policy, school, and health care all made it difficult for fathers to be deeply involved and engaged in the home. There are many conflicting expectations about work and family life.</p>
<p>As <a href=Patriarchal researcher Together with my own four children, I am convinced that my father is a transformative person for children, families, and communities.

But men’s mere presence, salary, and willingness to punish poorly behaved children are little enough. Many of the father’s benefits for children come from the fact that the father is engaged in all aspects of parenting, affection, and parenting.

If the father is a caregiver, that is, if the father provides emotional support and acts lovingly towards the child, the effect goes far beyond growth, development, health, and solid performance. .. According to my research, the benefits include having children who value emotional intelligence, gender equality, and healthy competition.

Nurturing vs. stoic father

Considering the broad impact of fathers, in May 2021 we analyzed how fathers affect different social values ​​(such as beliefs in gender equality).

A survey of more than 2,500 American fathers over the age of 18 found that their involvement had a long-term impact on the child’s personal principles and cultural perspectives.

In my research, the difference between the least grown father and the best grown father is clear.

The fathers surveyed, who reported that their fathers were very withdrawn, tended to be highly competitive, emotionally stoic, and disapproving of women’s contributions outside the home.

In contrast, the fathers surveyed, who said they had fathers who were very well-bred, were much more likely to achieve their goals in a healthy way and believe in a more emotionally open and impartial partnership. rice field.

How Dad Instills Values

Decades ago, many fathers I was reluctant or couldn’t To provide children with mental support and physical care. Instead, they focused on winning bread, disciplining children, and simply staying at home.

These traditional norms left many modern fathers unequipped as modern parents.Modern social norms have been set Wide expectations for father: Meet your child’s physical and emotional needs while enforcing rules and providing financial support to your family.

The widespread involvement of the father with the child is important because the father has a unique influence on the child.Children’s values, beliefs, emotional expressions, and social development Strongly associated with the father..Children Emotionally regulated, more resilient and more open-minded When they have a father Involved in their education and socialization..

boyOften, for better or for worse, it reflects the habits, interests and values ​​of one’s father.

My colleague Scott Easton And I found out how my dad behaves Especially powerful Given that cultural, social and institutional norms of paternity are much weaker than motherhood.

For example, mothers have traditionally been known to show affection to their children and provide emotional support. Social expectations for these behaviors are not clearly defined among fathers. As a result, the father has a far greater influence on the behavior of her son’s father than the mother has on the behavior of her daughter’s mother.

Indeed, this means that a significant portion of men duplicate their father’s best attributes, such as affection and affection. Negatively, this means that bad behavior, such as very strict discipline, can be repeated across generations.

However, some men compensate for their father’s poor or non-existent parenting as follows: Form your own ideas and values About parenting.

Benefits for everyone

The result of my investigation is Decades of research To Positive father benefits.. And these benefits aren’t just for kids.

Mothers and other parenting partners Healthier and happier When the father is deeply involved with the child.Men who care for and support their children will also benefit from improvements Self-image, purpose and relationship of life..When Community gets Increased trust and safety from relationships built by fathers’ active participation in children’s activities, school education and social networks.

Value a supportive father

How can American society ensure that healthy competition, emotional openness, and respect for women spread among future generations of men and fathers?Part of the answer Treasure a loving and supportive father..

This means more support for fathers in the workplace, public policy and institutions. Paid family vacation, Flexible work arrangements When Integration into prenatal and postnatal care for fathers It’s all an effective way to encourage more involvement of the father.

Many fathers have increased their share of childcare tasks During the COVID-19 pandemic.. These changes can be permanent and ultimately change cultural values ​​regarding parenting and gender roles.

Society also needs to provide fathers with a clear message about what works and what doesn’t work in parenting.For example, my colleague and a man who believes I should raise my parents More involved In the lives of their children. Fathers who exhibit healthy masculine characteristics such as self-assertion and strong goal orientation also tend to be sensitive and enthusiastic parents.

Therefore, there are many routes to becoming a transformative father. And this is not just a biological father’s behavior. Fatherhood is broadly defined and people often look to non-biological fathers such as relatives, stepfathers, adoptive fathers, and unrelated mentors.

All men who support and care for their children play an important role in instilling positive social value in future generations.

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This article will be republished from conversation, A non-profit news site aimed at sharing ideas from academic experts. It was written by: Kevin Schaefer, Brigham Young University..

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Kevin Shafer is funded by the US Department of Health and Human Services.