The boyfriend who lives is ashamed of a woman because she is a mother


Dear Abbey,

I’m a divorced mother of two teenagers. I’ve met my boyfriend “Shaun” for almost five years and he moved with us when the pandemic started. I am supposed to share the custody of my teenage children with my father every week. But his work requires a trip, and children often stay with me with little or no notice. They are also entering an era where they do not always want to go to their dad.

This caused tension with my boyfriend. He feels that we can no longer get “time alone”. Then he withholds love from me as if I had done something wrong by giving birth to a child. Since he moved, our sex life has almost disappeared. He refuses to be intimate when the kids are at home, but he doesn’t make the most of the “time alone” when the kids aren’t here. He usually goes to bed early without a good night kiss. Or he would go out on the weekends and not include me.

I have been fooled in the past, and my anxiety is beginning to grow their ugly heads. I don’t know how to talk to him because he’s defensive and illuminates the issues I’ve raised with gas lights. I find it unsafe to share my wounds with him. Not to mention sharing his anger at trying to make me feel bad about being a mom. I have lost hope and feel myself shutting down. How can I get close to him so that he doesn’t become defensive?

— Fight against defeat

There are red flags everywhere in your letter. You will be an active mother until your child is at least 18 years old. It’s terrible for this guy to move to your house and give you heartburn about your responsibilities. When you say your sex life is over and you raise other important issues, he puts a gas lamp on you. This is not a precursor to a healthy future.

His defense when you try to talk to him as an adult is not your real problem. Taking him out of your home and your life before he wastes your time is something you should focus on.

Dear Abbey,

What is the proper etiquette when attending an event and sitting at a table with 6 or more people? I think it’s rude to talk to the person on the other side of the table. It is permissible to talk to the person next to you. It’s rude to talk to someone on the other side of the table, as other diners will have to stop talking to the person sitting next to you and be forced to listen to your conversation. It’s becoming more and more annoying to see this happen. What do you think?

— I was forced to listen

That etiquette rule may have been true during the Edwardian era, but today’s table manners are no longer so strict. Of course, talking to the guest sitting next to you is desirable, but unless you need to communicate with someone behind the table, it can be distracting and confusing. I haven’t seen anything rude about it.

Dear Abbey

Dear Abbey

Dear Abbey, was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips.Contact Dear Abbey Or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA90069.

This article was originally published in The Providence Journal: Dear Abbey: The boyfriend who lives is ashamed of the woman for being a mother