The wife feels it is the end of the line with her drunken husband


Dear Abbey,

I became pregnant at the age of 15 and had an eldest daughter at the age of 16. I met my husband at the age of 18 and had four more daughters. I’ve been with him for over 30 years (I’m just 49 years old).

My girls are now living their lives. Now that I’m alone with her husband, I realize that I have nothing in common. She wants to leave him, but she has no money, no car, no work. I’ve become a person I never thought I would be — alone without life!

My husband ignores me and drinks a lot. When we visit our family, it’s a festival for him that anyone can drink freely. I don’t have the energy of my age to deal with drunkenness. I’ve been dating an alcoholic father for the rest of my life, but I don’t want to do it anymore. How can I rebuild my life and start over? I really have to do this myself.

— At an Ohio intersection

I agree that rebuilding your life is what you have to do for yourself. The surest way to achieve that is to get a job. This may eventually equip you for you to survive on your own. If you need transportation, ask your daughter for help or use public transportation.

If you don’t want to attend a “family” gathering, ask your husband to go alone. Your dad’s alcoholism may have contributed to the fact that you married someone with an alcohol problem, thinking it was “normal.” In that case, consider finding a chapter near Alanon ( Or an adult child in an alcoholic and dysfunctional family ( And attend some meetings. It may be held online, so you can do it on your computer if you want. I wish you good luck on your journey.

Dear Abbey,

I am a widow of three serious illnesses, one of which is potentially fatal. I hesitate to confess some of my friends because the majority of them fall into the ectenia of their illness. In most cases, their illness is common and requires minor dietary changes or perhaps weight loss. What’s offensive to me is that they behave as if they were in a life-threatening situation, but they aren’t.

It’s getting harder and harder to sympathize with colds and joint pain. How can you explain to these people how upset they were? Most of the time, they are good people and very selfish.

— Challenge in New Hampshire

It may be unrealistic to expect a friend who is unaware of your serious medical condition to sympathize with you or stop complaining about their pain or pain. Instead of saying their dissatisfaction is annoying, tell you the truth about what’s happening. Then keep in mind that the health challenges of everyone, no matter how trivial or large, are important to them.

Dear Abbey

Dear Abbey

Dear Abbey, was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips.Contact Dear Abbey Or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA90069.

This article was originally published in The Providence Journal: Dear Abbey: My wife feels it’s the end of the line with her drunken husband